rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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