On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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