...so i touched it.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
