Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
