Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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