i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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