First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
