he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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