Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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