i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
