It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize