I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
