the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We don't watch enough power rangers
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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