We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
