yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
