i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We need to get me chipped asap
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
