i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
