Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
