She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
