I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
