watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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