...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
