i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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