Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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