Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
