Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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