I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
