Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
