I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
