I wannas sexs uuuuu
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
