It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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