operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
