just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
