Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize