Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize