The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
