I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
tell me about the eggs
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
