If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
