if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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