so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
