White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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