My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
