Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
