2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
