today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
