why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
