We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
