Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
