Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
