I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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