Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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