the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
