Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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