Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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