just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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