Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
