at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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